Surgery (one painting in a series of 11)
2023
210 * 148
pencil and watercolor on paper
In January 2023, my dad passed away, and I started drawing in March. The changes in the family and the shift in my career were unfamiliar, and I had to work hard to adapt; there were many things to learn. By the spring, I had come to terms with my situation, but in August I learned that I was suffering from I had a serious case of adenomyosis. This was perplexing, because the most effective way to completely eliminate this disease is to have a hysterectomy. (to be continued below)
This picture is part of a series of drawings (see the below), depicting the surgical process, which represented a significant personal journey. This picture shows the anxiety that I felt about having to have an invasive procedure in a hospital that was a long way from home, in an area I had never been to before.
Surgery (entire series)
2023
mixed media
This series, consisting of 11 images, illustrates key moments in the surgical process.
However, there were other avenues open to me. Some doctors recommended that I save my uterus by undergoing embolization or partial resection surgery. Also, a close practitioner of traditional Korean medicine advised me to keep my uterus and alleviate the symptoms of the disease with medication and other treatments. However, without removing the uterus, there was a possibility that the symptoms may recur or that I would have to endure the pain indefinitely. Suffering symptoms or undergoing multiple operations could have delayed the preparation of my portfolio for art school admission, or made it difficult to study even if I went to art school, since I was in so much pain that I often had to take breaks from drawing. However, because a hysterectomy is not only a major operation, but one which leads to the removal of an organ symbolizing femininity, this was not a decision that could be made lightly.
After much research and consideration, I decided to undergo a hysterectomy so that I could prepare my portfolio without any problems, and continue drawing without issue. But I was still anxious and felt lost. So, I went to the Cathedral for several days and prayed desperately to the Virgin Mary, asking what I should do. Incredibly, I heard her voice saying, "Go your own way." I interpreted this to mean that I should pursue the path of an artist and undergo a hysterectomy for that purpose. I became confident in my decision to choose surgery, and I proceeded wholeheartedly, without wavering. I also undertook to do everything possible to ensure that the process and aftermath of the operation were without complications.
After making my decision, I went to a distant and unfamiliar hospital because there was a surgeon there with a good reputation. Fortunately, his reputation was well-deserved. With the aid of robots, he performed the surgery expertly and provided excellent after care, and I recovered well. I prayed a lot during this period of time, and since my recovery, I have been enthusiastically drawing pictures. Although I sometimes feel a sense of loss when I see the neighborhood children, I am living happily with my family, i.e. my cats, without experiencing post-surgery depression.
There is one painting in which my cats and I are together as a family, and it was modeled on a photograph taken with my grandmother and my younger sister when I was young. Here, I have depicted myself as a rabbit (since I was born in the Year of the Rabbit), while I have transformed the cats into humans.
As for the paintings of the uterus pierced by three swords, I borrowed the image of a uterus making the “fuck-you” gesture from the work of the French artist, Annette Messager. I did so because I think it represents well the confrontational attitude I have developed as a response to discrimination in a male-dominated society.
Currently, I am creating an installation related to this experience. I am cutting and redesigning a bra-like crop top which symbolizes femininity to me, transforming it into something new and positive. Through this I aim to express that, even after the surgery, I continue to grow, and I am both productive and resilient.
But did I really hear the voice of the Virgin Mary at that time? A devout Catholic acquaintance believes I did. Even 6 months after the surgery, I can't be 100% sure. However, this was not the first time I had heard such a voice. There was a time when I had returned to Korea, worn out from a difficult experience I’d had when studying abroad, and I prayed hard at Myeongdong Cathedral. Then, too, one of the apostles whose image was painted in the church told me, "Take care of yourself." Both times, I didn't just hear their voices with my ears; I felt them with my whole body.
Now that it’s all over, I believe I did hear the voice of the Virgin Mary, and that she was with me throughout the whole process. I feel so fortunate that she was by my side, helping me overcome these difficulties, and giving me the strength to live a more joyful and fulfilling life. I am thankful.
Surgery (one painting in a series of 11)
2023
148 * 210
watercolor on paper
Surgery (one painting in a series of 11)
2023
210 * 148
pencil and watercolor on paper
Self-portrait 1
2023
545 * 788
watercolor on paper
This picture depicts me receiving a hair coloring service at the hair salon I have been going to for over 20 years. This salon is one of the most expensive ones in Seoul. In Korea, where labor costs are relatively low, you can receive various additional services. However, I have mixed emotions because the young assistants working here get paid more or less minimum wage. They are trained as apprentices while working and take regular exams. After about four years, and having passed all their exams, they become certified hair designers and can make a lot of money. However, the process is lengthy, the labor is intense, and the compensation is very low while they are in training. Emotional labor is also required. Most of the workers are young women.
As of 2022, South Korea has the largest gender wage gap among member countries of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD), standing at 31.1% (maintaining the top position for 26 consecutive years). I am deeply angered by such gender discrimination. Although young Korean women actively participate in economic activities, many face frustration due to low wages and poor working conditions.
Having observed many young women in the hair salon for a long time, I try to provide emotional support, and I sometimes give them gifts when they pass exams. However, these are insufficient, and improving the discriminatory working environment will require fundamental social change and polices. For instance, thanks to the Labour Standards Act, such as the 52- hour regulation and the minimum wage, this labour now receives almost 20 times that of 25 years ago.
Self-Portrait 2
2023
788 * 545
mixed media
I have two modes of appearance and style, one where I dress up and another where I don't. This drawing represents the mode where I don't dress up. It was created when I was learning oil pastel and watercolor pencil techniques.
Party Fail
2023
457 * 610
pencil on paper
In my 20s, I was a hardcore clubber, and even in my 40s, I still occasionally go to clubs. The club in this painting is a very small, newly-opened place. Unlike the existing large industrial clubs, or the old, unclean places filled with drugs, this venue is a place filled with pure and positive energy. “Party Fail” is the name of one of the event nights at this club. It is a night for new DJs, performing live for the first time. I am also performed and will be performing again with them.
In this drawing, I focused on depicting communication and intimate relationships between people in the club. I also tried to address the issue of sexuality, which is important for the young generation. In addition, I wanted to show the global nature of the club-going crowd. Most of all, I paid special attention to the young women, seen here DJing, party organizing and dancing. For a long time, clubs were considered unsafe places for young Korean women, and their increased presence on the scene marks a significant social change. However, this fact is often presented negatively or distortedly in the media. I wanted to show young women with youthful energy, having fun, making friends and exploring their sexuality in the liberated atmosphere that they deserve.
